testing testing 1, 2, 3...

well howdy

thought I might do an actual post (instead of just plugging the latest project) for a change. How's things? Is everybody well?

My life is trundling along nicely. Well, sometimes it's been nice, and other times not so much - but you know... you ride the roller coaster of life, right?
And it's supposed to be fun, right?

I'm entering a new stage of single-dom, although it's not quite going to plan. See, I finally bit the bullet and stopped calling Kim my 'psuedo-non-boyfriend' and started calling him my actual 'boyfriend' - even though every time I did so I almost choked on the word. But then I realised that if the word was making me choke to such the degree, then the whole thing probably wasn't for the best - and last weekend I finally managed to muster the courage and call the whole thing off. There were tears and tender moments, and it was hard but it was all for the best. Let's just not mention the fact that I'm now writing this on his computer... because even though I saw him yesterday as 'just friends' and was quite good about it, my resolve crumbled today, and we were back in bed together. This doesn't mean that we're 'back to gether' but just for tonight, I'm going to stay over and we're going to have a good ol' romp in the bedroom.

Yes, I know, I'm weak, but a good ol' romp is a good ol' romp... and I know that's how I got myself into this sticky situation in the first place, but....well.... I'm weak. (and yes, I know, I already said that... but I feel that if I seem self aware, people will think that I know what I'm doing... )

It's been just over a year now since Dan and I broke up. It's strange - I keep bringing it up with people that I really shouldn't (I mean, guys that you're fucking don't really want to know about your ex's) but I always think about it. I thought I would have gotten over it by now, but I guess not. I still have a small amount of baggage that I'm not sure I'll ever really be rid of.

I was taking stock of my life, and how much it's changed in the last year. It's been insane! I feel like a very new person, even though I'm still not quite who I want to be. I think I'm getting closer though.

Obviously, I'm doing a lot of performing - and it's been FANTASTIC! I had forgotten what a difference it makes when I have a project, and not only a project but something I feel passionate about, in my life. I enjoy it soooo much, and while I know that's not a good enough reason to do something (necessarily), I also feel like it's worthwhile. I'm pushing myself more, and I seem to be getting a good response from people. My plan is to just throw myself into as many productions as I possibly can to get more experience and practice - to get better! I'm still thinking of going and studying it in some shape or form next year, but for now, like I said - my plan is just to do as much of it as I can. And the more I'm in, the more people are asking me to be in other stuff, so it's all going swimmingly.

I'm feeling a little scattered at the moment, so I'm not sure that this is going to be a coherent post really, but I guess I'll read over it tomorrow in the harsh light of day and fix any major continuity errors. I can't think of anything worthwhile to speak about that won't get me into trouble in some shape or form...