dearey me
I was going to delete the last post... cos of embarrasement, but I have this thing about promising myself never to edit what I say in places/forums like this. That's why, often, my emails are ramblings and contradictory - cos while sometimes I do edit things after reading them, I try to keep that practice to a minimum. That way, I'm as honest as I can be with myself, and everyone else... it's cathartic in a way - coming to terms with how I really am. I suppose it's my own brand of therapy, in slowly trying to make that 'real' me break out of the 'now' me's shell.
On happier notes: I finally got the guts up to ring one of the places that were advertising for a housemate. I was weird about it tho - it was so so so so hard to make myself. I got the no. off my email, typed it into my phone.... then I had to go have a shower well, what if they want me to come around straight away? I need to be ready to walk out the house! then I had to have something to eat - cos I also needed to brush my teeth, and I had to eat before that... have to make sure I make a good impression Pick out an outfit that is not too dressy, but somehow shows them my personality I hope they like me.... then sat in front of my phone, checked to make sure the phone no. was still there - then checked back on my comp to make sure it was the RIGHT phone no... then finally called.
It went straight to voicemail.
I'm proud of the message I left: bright, bubbly, but not too girly that I came off immature (I hope), interested and available. Hope that I wasn't too pushy - the last thing I emailed her was that I would wait for them to let me know when they were ready to see people.
oh - woah - just got an email from one of the girls... better check it out....
ok - that was promising. She didn't know that I'd rung the other girl, and was just letting me know it was still avail. Unfortunately the other guy they're living with sounds a bit weird. She was saying he smokes ALOT of pot, every day, and was talking about some of his friends being on heroin... that doesn't bode well... She said they're both (the girls) hoping he'll move out soon, I told her (even though I don't know her) they should just kick him out if they're really not comfortable... anyway, I'll check it out and see how it feels...
I should probably contact the other place as well - but it was to live with 3 other girls (who all happen to be gay) and I would really like to have at least one other guy maybe, just to help balance it all out... but I guess I shouldn't rule anything out, and try not to get too picky.
There havn't really been any other ads that I've found that have looked any good.
Maybe I should just stay here? I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
can someone else tell me what to do? actually - don't, I'll just end up resenting you and doing the exact opposite...
On happier notes: I finally got the guts up to ring one of the places that were advertising for a housemate. I was weird about it tho - it was so so so so hard to make myself. I got the no. off my email, typed it into my phone.... then I had to go have a shower well, what if they want me to come around straight away? I need to be ready to walk out the house! then I had to have something to eat - cos I also needed to brush my teeth, and I had to eat before that... have to make sure I make a good impression Pick out an outfit that is not too dressy, but somehow shows them my personality I hope they like me.... then sat in front of my phone, checked to make sure the phone no. was still there - then checked back on my comp to make sure it was the RIGHT phone no... then finally called.
It went straight to voicemail.
I'm proud of the message I left: bright, bubbly, but not too girly that I came off immature (I hope), interested and available. Hope that I wasn't too pushy - the last thing I emailed her was that I would wait for them to let me know when they were ready to see people.
oh - woah - just got an email from one of the girls... better check it out....
ok - that was promising. She didn't know that I'd rung the other girl, and was just letting me know it was still avail. Unfortunately the other guy they're living with sounds a bit weird. She was saying he smokes ALOT of pot, every day, and was talking about some of his friends being on heroin... that doesn't bode well... She said they're both (the girls) hoping he'll move out soon, I told her (even though I don't know her) they should just kick him out if they're really not comfortable... anyway, I'll check it out and see how it feels...
I should probably contact the other place as well - but it was to live with 3 other girls (who all happen to be gay) and I would really like to have at least one other guy maybe, just to help balance it all out... but I guess I shouldn't rule anything out, and try not to get too picky.
There havn't really been any other ads that I've found that have looked any good.
Maybe I should just stay here? I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
can someone else tell me what to do? actually - don't, I'll just end up resenting you and doing the exact opposite...
posted by ekstasis at 3:12 PM
4 Comments:
I applaud your restraint from deleting the previous entry. There's too much censorship in the blogging world, and it's about time somebody made a stand.
That said, I sadly can relate to your drunken frame of mind. Not necissarily right now, but there are times...
hmmm seems to happen alot, to me anyway...
actually - I wanted to delete THIS post as well, cos it sounds very wanky and I don't like the language I used... but there you go. There has to be one rule for everything otherwise it starts getting confusing.
(as if it wasn't already)
Heroin is sooo 1993. And 1976. and 1969.
1993: was that when Marvin's Room came out? or was that the Basketball Diaries? I always get those confused. No - I think it was the Basketball Diaries... Leonardo made heroin cool again.. or did I miss the point?
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