I'm sure I cried 'Bali'...OR: Hey! you asked!
1. I have what is growing to be an unhealthy obsession with corsets. I love what they do and the way they make me feel - the reaction I've gotten from people when I'm wearing mine. I've always had a 'thing' with people touching my sides and back - I find it very sensual, and the corset is like someone permanently holding me i - I think it's something about knowing/feeling where my body ends or something - it makes me feel slimmer and helps me remember that my waistline is not never-ending. The corset I've found that I want to most at the moment is this one:
(I'm thinking about going the tats too...)
2. I desperately want to be in a production of the 'Hot Mikado' - it was done at my school when I was in yr 12, but by then I decided to chuck a hissy fit about being put in the chorus again - when all the other yr 11 and 12's had parts (and of course didn't do it). I think (know) the director didn't like me - as no matter what my acting skill - I could sing way better than some/most of the people who had gotten parts. This was my first encounter with a Director who saw me do something crap once and wouldn't forget - and hence only gave me chorus parts from then on in. But whatever - if I ever get to be in that production, I will be a very happy happy chickie. I would love to be any number of the main roles - as a lot of the songs are good. Unfortunately this is one musical that I don't have the soundtrack for - I've been trying to download it for ages, but I can never find it. I used to have a tape that had ¾ of the songs on it - they made us copies for the auditions, but have since lost it. I have resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to have to buy it, but as I have no money - this is proving to be difficult.
3. I used to be quite the little bookworm when I was a bit younger. I haven't really read a book in a little while, but it hasn't been that long. I started reading originally in primary school cos this boy that I had a crush on (and subsequently had a crush on for the next 12 years - we went out in grade 2) was a big reader, and I wanted him to like me. Like I said - it worked in grade 2, but then I saw him holding another girls hand - my best friends twin to be exact - and then mum made him dance with me at the school disco for a drink of cordial, yeah, anyway - books: My favourite genres are fantasy and fantasy and fantasy really. I was BIG on the Chronicles of Narnia and I've read every book about a thousand times, so I'm really starting to salivate about the upcoming movie/s. Some of the better memories of my childhood is lying on a blanket out in our backyard while mum read them to me in the sunshin. Why can't things be that peaceful and magical again?
4. I desperately want to perform again - but at the moment I feel like most theatre avenues are closed (there aren't really any parts for fat chicks nowadays), so I'm trying to concentrate on the music side of things. Unfortunately, the idea of advertising or something for complete strangers to start a band with and saying: "hi, I'm a really confident chickie who wants to make music with you. I have complete confidence in my abilities and I think we'll be great" is a little beyond me at the moment. I'm hoping that eventually I'll bump into a group of friends who like me and offer to help me get started, and slowly aquire band members the 'natural' way. Performing is limited at the moment because of the 2nd director that decided to dislike me - this time because of my relationship with dan, which is none of her freaking business if you ask me, but there you go. The sad thing is that the best thing I've ever done on stage was with her, and she seems to have forgotten, and so have all my friends. It's just assumed that I'm no good, so no one asks me to do things with them. The sad thing is that now I'm starting to believe them, and have lost all confidence in my abilities, so now I'm going to have to either find a new group to perform with (and the idea of an audition gives me the heebie jeebies) or give up, or wait to get a 'sympathy part' from a friend. I'm not sure how I'd feel about that.
5. The best thing I've ever done on stage was a short performance I did in my first year at uni, as part of a thing they run there called 'Snatches'. It was a duo performance, and I had no lines - I was playing a kind of a mute. This is seriously the only thing I've ever been proud of, performance wise, and the people who did see it agree with me that I was actually good. My name was 'Lewis' and I pretended to play the violin with my overbearing sister, but I sh'arnt go into the details here. This was the first time I met the people who would later become good friends of mine - and the first time I met Dan. I actually don't really remember thinking anything about him at the time, although I think I did notice that he had very blue eyes. Apparently he noticed me. awwwwww
6. I really like my boobs. I also really want to loose weight, but I'm scared that if I do, I'll loose my beautiful boobs.
7. I love wallowing in my melancholy and depression, even though I know it's not healthy. It makes me feel more tragic and artistic, even though I know that's not really the case.
8. If I'm at somewhere like work and I'm not humming or singing to myself, or there's no music on or something - you can usually tell that something's not right with me, that I'm unhappy or something. Mind you, sometimes I sing to myself to try and cheer myself up - not that it always works (yesterday being a perfect example).
9. I'm not sure that I like the tenor/sound of my own voice. I think if I was someone else listening to me, it would annoy me slightly. That's why I'm nervous about trying to front a band - I think my voice is a little weak and very fluffy. Mind you - I usually like male singers, so that could have something to do with it - I obviously don't have a male voice.
10. I'm a funny one when it comes to physical contact with other people. I desperately want hugs from everyone I know, but am secretly too scared to initiate one, so often nothing happens when I meet up with people or something. I think people now have the impression that I'm not big on the physical-friend-contact and don't tend to bother, but that makes me sad. If I've ever given you a kiss on the check when you've seen me, it's a biggy for me, unless you leant in first. I'll also often be quite awkward if the hug/kiss does happen - but trust me, it doesn't mean I'm not enjoying it, it just means I wasn't expecting it. I really do love hugs more than anything else in the world. Well, they're up there in my top 5 at least anyway.
11. I saw the hottest sex scene I've ever seen in a movie just the other day. The movie was 'Y Tu Mamma Tambien' (not sure of the spelling there), which I actually didn't get to see anything else of, cos Jane and I were drunk and she'd already watched it and she said I needed to see this one bit - and boy was she right. Seriously - the sexiest thing I think I've ever seen in my life. and it was only short, and you didn't really see anything in particular. But I've been having dreams about it ever since. (and if you've seen it, it wasn't just cos it was two guys, there are many more levels that I appreciate that scene on) (I'd go into detail, but I think that could be dangerous/embarrassing).
12. I had cyber sex with someone I knew for the first time the other day. Let me clarify - I've had cyber sex before, when I was a lot younger (I guess I kinda grew out of it), but I've never done it with someone I've met and hung out with before. Well, I guess it was cyber sex, or it was pretty close anyway. now we're just maintaining a wall of cyber silence though, I'm not sure, but I think we could both be very embarrassed.
13. I still have yet to kick of 'Fuckapalooza' with someone other than my ex.
14. I've now slept with a total of 3 women and 2 men. The idea that I've slept with more girls than boys excites me somewhat, even though I don't classify myself as Bi, I think you need to want/be open to a relationship with girls to be totally bi - which I'm not. Jane suggested that I like that idea because it would potentially turn guys on, I guess she's got a point.
15. Did I mention I'm obsessed with SEX?
16. Over the last three and a bit years I've put on a little over 20kgs. I could blame it on my relationship with Dan, or the fact that that relationship meant that I moved out of home, and didn't take as good care of myself as mum did. Either way - I'm now very angry with Dad and other members on that side of my family for telling me I was very overweight when I was only a size 14/16. that seems decent and reasonable to me now, and I hate them for making me feel huge then.
17. I have major issues with my Dad. Basically, I've stopped talking to him, even though he keeps calling and sending me emails, because I find it too hard and painful to deal with him. I've told him that when he will finally look at himself and stop pointing the finger at everyone else for the problems between the two of us, I'll consider having a relationship with him again. That was over a year and a half ago, nothing's improved. I didn't want to go home on Friday night, because I was scared he was going to turn up on my doorstep. He did that once before, and I was in bed at the time, and Dan answered the door, and told him I wasn't there. I really wanted to get up and tell him to fuck off, but I was literally paralyzed and couldn't move or speak or so anything. Once when I was much younger mum had to call the police to get him to leave - I think it may have something to do with that, maybe?
18. I would really like to learn more about photography, and how to take good shots, and how to take certain kinds of shots - such as live music and stuff, without washing out the colour with a flash and not over exposing it (if anyone knows, tell me!). Actually, I would also love love LOVE to go over to New Zealand and get work experience with Weta Workshop - that would have to be one of my ultimate dreams. Paradise. They have so much knowledge about how to make anything you could ever want - and that excites me no end, especially concerning the kind of things I've tried to make in the past/want to make in the future. And considering my all round love of movies, and and and...
19. I'm one of the biggest procrastinators I know, and it frustrates me no end. I secretly both love and hate people like Liz and Maara who just seem to have this abundance of creative energy, while I'm at home watching the TV. I'm addicted to the TV and have been for as long as I can remember. I'm hoping that during this new phase in my life, I'll manage to overcome this a little, and start getting out there and doing all the things I would really love to be doing. I idolize people like them who can't stop themselves from 'making' and I hope that one day I'll find that in myself too.
I guess I'm supposed to end on something either profound or funny? HA! Hmm how bout I go with NEITHER.
20. I love being asked questions, because I love telling people about myself... I love that someone might 'know' about me, and understand me. I've promised myself that if anyone asks me a question about myself I'll always answer it with honesty - even if it's embarrassing. I think I like embarrassing myself and 'exposing' myself emotionally to people. It makes me feel really uncomfortable, but I like it anyway.
THERE
20 things- phew that was a lengthy one!
I don't have many people to tag that havn't already been tagged... so I guess I'll just have to tag some people again... sorry dudes - but I can't let the line stop here!
SO!
I pick: Gun, Stef, Swapto, Millwood and Richard Watts
ok.
there.
I'm going to go stay a night in a new strange house, that is apparently my new home.
(I'm thinking about going the tats too...)
2. I desperately want to be in a production of the 'Hot Mikado' - it was done at my school when I was in yr 12, but by then I decided to chuck a hissy fit about being put in the chorus again - when all the other yr 11 and 12's had parts (and of course didn't do it). I think (know) the director didn't like me - as no matter what my acting skill - I could sing way better than some/most of the people who had gotten parts. This was my first encounter with a Director who saw me do something crap once and wouldn't forget - and hence only gave me chorus parts from then on in. But whatever - if I ever get to be in that production, I will be a very happy happy chickie. I would love to be any number of the main roles - as a lot of the songs are good. Unfortunately this is one musical that I don't have the soundtrack for - I've been trying to download it for ages, but I can never find it. I used to have a tape that had ¾ of the songs on it - they made us copies for the auditions, but have since lost it. I have resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to have to buy it, but as I have no money - this is proving to be difficult.
3. I used to be quite the little bookworm when I was a bit younger. I haven't really read a book in a little while, but it hasn't been that long. I started reading originally in primary school cos this boy that I had a crush on (and subsequently had a crush on for the next 12 years - we went out in grade 2) was a big reader, and I wanted him to like me. Like I said - it worked in grade 2, but then I saw him holding another girls hand - my best friends twin to be exact - and then mum made him dance with me at the school disco for a drink of cordial, yeah, anyway - books: My favourite genres are fantasy and fantasy and fantasy really. I was BIG on the Chronicles of Narnia and I've read every book about a thousand times, so I'm really starting to salivate about the upcoming movie/s. Some of the better memories of my childhood is lying on a blanket out in our backyard while mum read them to me in the sunshin. Why can't things be that peaceful and magical again?
4. I desperately want to perform again - but at the moment I feel like most theatre avenues are closed (there aren't really any parts for fat chicks nowadays), so I'm trying to concentrate on the music side of things. Unfortunately, the idea of advertising or something for complete strangers to start a band with and saying: "hi, I'm a really confident chickie who wants to make music with you. I have complete confidence in my abilities and I think we'll be great" is a little beyond me at the moment. I'm hoping that eventually I'll bump into a group of friends who like me and offer to help me get started, and slowly aquire band members the 'natural' way. Performing is limited at the moment because of the 2nd director that decided to dislike me - this time because of my relationship with dan, which is none of her freaking business if you ask me, but there you go. The sad thing is that the best thing I've ever done on stage was with her, and she seems to have forgotten, and so have all my friends. It's just assumed that I'm no good, so no one asks me to do things with them. The sad thing is that now I'm starting to believe them, and have lost all confidence in my abilities, so now I'm going to have to either find a new group to perform with (and the idea of an audition gives me the heebie jeebies) or give up, or wait to get a 'sympathy part' from a friend. I'm not sure how I'd feel about that.
5. The best thing I've ever done on stage was a short performance I did in my first year at uni, as part of a thing they run there called 'Snatches'. It was a duo performance, and I had no lines - I was playing a kind of a mute. This is seriously the only thing I've ever been proud of, performance wise, and the people who did see it agree with me that I was actually good. My name was 'Lewis' and I pretended to play the violin with my overbearing sister, but I sh'arnt go into the details here. This was the first time I met the people who would later become good friends of mine - and the first time I met Dan. I actually don't really remember thinking anything about him at the time, although I think I did notice that he had very blue eyes. Apparently he noticed me. awwwwww
6. I really like my boobs. I also really want to loose weight, but I'm scared that if I do, I'll loose my beautiful boobs.
7. I love wallowing in my melancholy and depression, even though I know it's not healthy. It makes me feel more tragic and artistic, even though I know that's not really the case.
8. If I'm at somewhere like work and I'm not humming or singing to myself, or there's no music on or something - you can usually tell that something's not right with me, that I'm unhappy or something. Mind you, sometimes I sing to myself to try and cheer myself up - not that it always works (yesterday being a perfect example).
9. I'm not sure that I like the tenor/sound of my own voice. I think if I was someone else listening to me, it would annoy me slightly. That's why I'm nervous about trying to front a band - I think my voice is a little weak and very fluffy. Mind you - I usually like male singers, so that could have something to do with it - I obviously don't have a male voice.
10. I'm a funny one when it comes to physical contact with other people. I desperately want hugs from everyone I know, but am secretly too scared to initiate one, so often nothing happens when I meet up with people or something. I think people now have the impression that I'm not big on the physical-friend-contact and don't tend to bother, but that makes me sad. If I've ever given you a kiss on the check when you've seen me, it's a biggy for me, unless you leant in first. I'll also often be quite awkward if the hug/kiss does happen - but trust me, it doesn't mean I'm not enjoying it, it just means I wasn't expecting it. I really do love hugs more than anything else in the world. Well, they're up there in my top 5 at least anyway.
11. I saw the hottest sex scene I've ever seen in a movie just the other day. The movie was 'Y Tu Mamma Tambien' (not sure of the spelling there), which I actually didn't get to see anything else of, cos Jane and I were drunk and she'd already watched it and she said I needed to see this one bit - and boy was she right. Seriously - the sexiest thing I think I've ever seen in my life. and it was only short, and you didn't really see anything in particular. But I've been having dreams about it ever since. (and if you've seen it, it wasn't just cos it was two guys, there are many more levels that I appreciate that scene on) (I'd go into detail, but I think that could be dangerous/embarrassing).
12. I had cyber sex with someone I knew for the first time the other day. Let me clarify - I've had cyber sex before, when I was a lot younger (I guess I kinda grew out of it), but I've never done it with someone I've met and hung out with before. Well, I guess it was cyber sex, or it was pretty close anyway. now we're just maintaining a wall of cyber silence though, I'm not sure, but I think we could both be very embarrassed.
13. I still have yet to kick of 'Fuckapalooza' with someone other than my ex.
14. I've now slept with a total of 3 women and 2 men. The idea that I've slept with more girls than boys excites me somewhat, even though I don't classify myself as Bi, I think you need to want/be open to a relationship with girls to be totally bi - which I'm not. Jane suggested that I like that idea because it would potentially turn guys on, I guess she's got a point.
15. Did I mention I'm obsessed with SEX?
16. Over the last three and a bit years I've put on a little over 20kgs. I could blame it on my relationship with Dan, or the fact that that relationship meant that I moved out of home, and didn't take as good care of myself as mum did. Either way - I'm now very angry with Dad and other members on that side of my family for telling me I was very overweight when I was only a size 14/16. that seems decent and reasonable to me now, and I hate them for making me feel huge then.
17. I have major issues with my Dad. Basically, I've stopped talking to him, even though he keeps calling and sending me emails, because I find it too hard and painful to deal with him. I've told him that when he will finally look at himself and stop pointing the finger at everyone else for the problems between the two of us, I'll consider having a relationship with him again. That was over a year and a half ago, nothing's improved. I didn't want to go home on Friday night, because I was scared he was going to turn up on my doorstep. He did that once before, and I was in bed at the time, and Dan answered the door, and told him I wasn't there. I really wanted to get up and tell him to fuck off, but I was literally paralyzed and couldn't move or speak or so anything. Once when I was much younger mum had to call the police to get him to leave - I think it may have something to do with that, maybe?
18. I would really like to learn more about photography, and how to take good shots, and how to take certain kinds of shots - such as live music and stuff, without washing out the colour with a flash and not over exposing it (if anyone knows, tell me!). Actually, I would also love love LOVE to go over to New Zealand and get work experience with Weta Workshop - that would have to be one of my ultimate dreams. Paradise. They have so much knowledge about how to make anything you could ever want - and that excites me no end, especially concerning the kind of things I've tried to make in the past/want to make in the future. And considering my all round love of movies, and and and...
19. I'm one of the biggest procrastinators I know, and it frustrates me no end. I secretly both love and hate people like Liz and Maara who just seem to have this abundance of creative energy, while I'm at home watching the TV. I'm addicted to the TV and have been for as long as I can remember. I'm hoping that during this new phase in my life, I'll manage to overcome this a little, and start getting out there and doing all the things I would really love to be doing. I idolize people like them who can't stop themselves from 'making' and I hope that one day I'll find that in myself too.
I guess I'm supposed to end on something either profound or funny? HA! Hmm how bout I go with NEITHER.
20. I love being asked questions, because I love telling people about myself... I love that someone might 'know' about me, and understand me. I've promised myself that if anyone asks me a question about myself I'll always answer it with honesty - even if it's embarrassing. I think I like embarrassing myself and 'exposing' myself emotionally to people. It makes me feel really uncomfortable, but I like it anyway.
THERE
20 things- phew that was a lengthy one!
I don't have many people to tag that havn't already been tagged... so I guess I'll just have to tag some people again... sorry dudes - but I can't let the line stop here!
SO!
I pick: Gun, Stef, Swapto, Millwood and Richard Watts
ok.
there.
I'm going to go stay a night in a new strange house, that is apparently my new home.
posted by ekstasis at 9:41 PM
11 Comments:
Thanks for tagging me! I feel like it's my official entry into the blogdom club or something. How geeky is that? LOL. Now I just have to A) think of 20 things, and B) find 5 other people to tag...
slesh: will do - when I'm not at work and I could get in trouble... :)
richard: my extreme bloggin pleasure... surely a) won't be so bad.... I don't know if I can help with b) tho... :) I only just managed to rustle up enough people too, and half of them have been tagged before!!! :)
i feel somewhat closer to you now. i alittle insight into the mind of someone completely different to me.
vvvery interesting
now that i have been tagged, i guess the jig is up. im an open book.
"heres to ekstasi"
You've got it wrong Ekky, I'm A Master procrastinater....
see point 3 in my 20 things...
thanks for tagging me again,
since my first go I've been thinking of things I could've put, so I'll get onto it soon, I'm hoping my blogger stops playing up soon so that I can make whole posts instead of just the title...
yaaaayyyy
to eeevvveeeerryyyy ooonnneeee
Yay indeed.
slesh: I don't know if it's just the work computer (I caved) but that site isn't working :( I wanna see perdy corsets!!
My girl, the answer to all your dreams is here. If you've got a credit card, you're in shake town.
Meanwhile, I was only saying earlier tonight that I'd love to get back into photography.. It was one of the few subjects I truly enjoyed at school, and am considering doing a course. You want in?
slesh: cool, I'll check it out SOON
Mill: SHIT YEAH!!! I've been looking around for a good photography course, that's gonna teach me exactly what I want to know (ie, everything) SO HELLA YEAH!!! lemme know - I'm in fo shizzle...
Awesome! That'd be rad.. I've got a rough idea of what I'm doing, but it'd good to brush up on things. I'll do some investigating and get back to you.. Have you found anything that looks decent?
oh, well I found the CAE has one in the city - but I can't quite figure out if I'm a beginner or one level above that. I know i used to know about appeture and all that stuff... but I think I may have forgotten - but then I would hate to spend 8 weeks going through stuff that I have already been taught.
Other than that I found one that sounds great at RMIT, but it's called a 'single course' which I think means its actually just like a full time coure, but only one subject - and it doesn't say how to apply or anything for that - but have a look at the RMIT website (www.rmit.edu.au), maybe you can find something I didn't see... ??
DEFINITELY let me know if you find anything interesting!
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