from behind a big, thick plate of frosted glass
because that's where I seem to be viewing the world from today.
Not because I'm in prison or something.
Really.
I'm definitely sick. I don' t know if it's tonsalitis, becuase I don' tknow if theres that much mucas and snot that happens when you get tonsalitis - or, I've never gotten this much before, and I've pretty much gotten tonsalitis to varying degrees at least once a year for as long as I can remember. I really really didn't want to get out of bed this morning. But I had to - I've got no more sick days without a doctors certificate left, and I really can't afford not to work at the moment.
The opening went really really really well last night. It was absolutely packed. You couldn't really move at one point, and trying to get to the alcohol, or away from the alcohol (?) was nigh on impossible. It was very exciting actually. People sold pieces too, already (not me, but hey) which is also extremely exciting. Like - it had been open for a matter of hours, and already about 6 or so pieces were sold. There were some brooches that I had my eye on, but the lady wasn't charging NEARLY enough for them, and as one other lady put it on monday, they 'walked out the door'! Good for her though... I'm extremely proud.
Dan was a cunt-arse though. He only stayed for half and hour*, and I had to ask him if he liked it at all, because he was just standing there... and then just looked at me. He kind of bobbed his head (like those toy dogs people always have on their dashboards) when I asked him. Nothing else. I said "isn't your girlfriend really clever and talented?!" (in a joking sense) and put up my arms for a hug. He stared at me blankly for a second, then made the most pathetic attempt to give me a hug, that was really him trying to touch me the least amount possible, and then said 'I didn't know what you meant'. It's not hard dude. Then a little later on, he came back to me and said "yeah... I really like it, you've done well", but he did that without really looking at me, and it was in such a quiet, vague and pathetic voice that I didn't really believe he felt anything about it at all.
* He left to go to a band rehearsal. He could have organised this reahearsal any other time of the week - they don't have regular times every week, and he decided to organise it for last night. Even when I told him that I was unhappy about it, when he first mentioned it a few days ago. The thing is - I actually didn't mind him not being there, because he tends to hang around like a a bad smell anyway, but it's truely the principal of the thing. I support him in all the things he does, and it's not like I have an event like this (or any event for that matter) very often. He has had quite a few recently. Not that I'm keeping score...
I'm convinced that he's just as unhappy about things as I am at the moment, but when I confronted him about that the other night, he completely denied it and told me I was making it all up in my head. He's gotten so unbelievably touchy about things - I used to be able to joke around with him, but now when I say anything he takes it FAR too seriously and gets all defensive and angry.
Look, I know that it's all probably very obvious to everyone out there in the information-superhighway-darkness what I should be doing about him, but I can't make myself contemplate it too hard, or I just start to cry. Uncontrolably.
3 years of your life is a very long time.
<>
I was going to try and be funny today. But instead I think I'll sit here and stare at my computer screen for a little while, go home and go to bed, ignoring Dan with his band people, who are coming over for dinner. yay.
Not because I'm in prison or something.
Really.
I'm definitely sick. I don' t know if it's tonsalitis, becuase I don' tknow if theres that much mucas and snot that happens when you get tonsalitis - or, I've never gotten this much before, and I've pretty much gotten tonsalitis to varying degrees at least once a year for as long as I can remember. I really really didn't want to get out of bed this morning. But I had to - I've got no more sick days without a doctors certificate left, and I really can't afford not to work at the moment.
The opening went really really really well last night. It was absolutely packed. You couldn't really move at one point, and trying to get to the alcohol, or away from the alcohol (?) was nigh on impossible. It was very exciting actually. People sold pieces too, already (not me, but hey) which is also extremely exciting. Like - it had been open for a matter of hours, and already about 6 or so pieces were sold. There were some brooches that I had my eye on, but the lady wasn't charging NEARLY enough for them, and as one other lady put it on monday, they 'walked out the door'! Good for her though... I'm extremely proud.
Dan was a cunt-arse though. He only stayed for half and hour*, and I had to ask him if he liked it at all, because he was just standing there... and then just looked at me. He kind of bobbed his head (like those toy dogs people always have on their dashboards) when I asked him. Nothing else. I said "isn't your girlfriend really clever and talented?!" (in a joking sense) and put up my arms for a hug. He stared at me blankly for a second, then made the most pathetic attempt to give me a hug, that was really him trying to touch me the least amount possible, and then said 'I didn't know what you meant'. It's not hard dude. Then a little later on, he came back to me and said "yeah... I really like it, you've done well", but he did that without really looking at me, and it was in such a quiet, vague and pathetic voice that I didn't really believe he felt anything about it at all.
* He left to go to a band rehearsal. He could have organised this reahearsal any other time of the week - they don't have regular times every week, and he decided to organise it for last night. Even when I told him that I was unhappy about it, when he first mentioned it a few days ago. The thing is - I actually didn't mind him not being there, because he tends to hang around like a a bad smell anyway, but it's truely the principal of the thing. I support him in all the things he does, and it's not like I have an event like this (or any event for that matter) very often. He has had quite a few recently. Not that I'm keeping score...
I'm convinced that he's just as unhappy about things as I am at the moment, but when I confronted him about that the other night, he completely denied it and told me I was making it all up in my head. He's gotten so unbelievably touchy about things - I used to be able to joke around with him, but now when I say anything he takes it FAR too seriously and gets all defensive and angry.
Look, I know that it's all probably very obvious to everyone out there in the information-superhighway-darkness what I should be doing about him, but I can't make myself contemplate it too hard, or I just start to cry. Uncontrolably.
3 years of your life is a very long time.
<
I was going to try and be funny today. But instead I think I'll sit here and stare at my computer screen for a little while, go home and go to bed, ignoring Dan with his band people, who are coming over for dinner. yay.
posted by ekstasis at 3:54 PM
7 Comments:
I was going to put a long rambling pep talk for you here. But I changed my mind.
You'll do what you need to when the time is right.
Hey, guess what? Gun Street Girl totally loves herself!
update please, hope your kickin the arse of this under the weatherness,
you rock very hard,
you know what might cheer you up?
posting a blog...
surly- fuck you : )
Touch my flidget, Gun Street Girl. Go on. Don't be afraid.
not here!
*blushes*
wow
I'm back
thanks
as for you two surly and gun... my email-post-reminder thingy's from you came in a different order than what it did here.... now it makes alot more sense!!
but thanks guys.
"as for you two surly and gun... my email-post-reminder thingy's from you came in a different order than what it did here.... now it makes alot more sense!!"
What means this?
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