a brief history of the Telepathic Vagina
Ok, so this story needs to be told, by ME, and before anyone else uses it for whatever one could use it for (which, really are sooooo many ways, cos it’s never not funny…).
Backstory:
I know this guy who is a complete fruit-cake. He’s cool and talented, and I like him more every time we talk (because admittedly I started off thinking he was a complete pretentious artist). But he told Dan a story the other day, that, well – I don’t want to talk it up to much before you hear it so I don’t ruin it – but it’s fucking funny:
I’ll Begin:
This guy (we’ll call him ‘E’) used to live with a woman who was a prostitute. And, according to E, she was telepathically controlling him with her vagina.
Seriously.
E decided to confront the woman about his concern. He told her that she had three options.
1) She moved out
2) They fucked
3) She stopped controlling him telepathically with her vagina.
He didn’t mind which option, as long as it was one of those.
Seriously.
She looked at him, and said:
“ok I’ll stop”.
Just like that.
I mean, really, what do you say?
Well, I think I might have moved out, but anyway…
I mean a telepathic vagina is quite a thing isn’t it? And it’s quite specific – not just, ‘she was telepathically trying to make me want her’, or ‘she was acting sexy around me, and I think she was using it to her advantage’ but ‘she was telepathically controlling me with her vagina’…. That’s quite a feat.
So now I keep having visions of all these pulsating vaginas reaching out into the ether with their golden energy fields making this “whoooombn, whoooombn, whooombn” sound.
And it’s never not funny. NEVER.
Cos, like, you’ve got three options………. Geddit?
Backstory:
I know this guy who is a complete fruit-cake. He’s cool and talented, and I like him more every time we talk (because admittedly I started off thinking he was a complete pretentious artist). But he told Dan a story the other day, that, well – I don’t want to talk it up to much before you hear it so I don’t ruin it – but it’s fucking funny:
I’ll Begin:
This guy (we’ll call him ‘E’) used to live with a woman who was a prostitute. And, according to E, she was telepathically controlling him with her vagina.
Seriously.
E decided to confront the woman about his concern. He told her that she had three options.
1) She moved out
2) They fucked
3) She stopped controlling him telepathically with her vagina.
He didn’t mind which option, as long as it was one of those.
Seriously.
She looked at him, and said:
“ok I’ll stop”.
Just like that.
I mean, really, what do you say?
Well, I think I might have moved out, but anyway…
I mean a telepathic vagina is quite a thing isn’t it? And it’s quite specific – not just, ‘she was telepathically trying to make me want her’, or ‘she was acting sexy around me, and I think she was using it to her advantage’ but ‘she was telepathically controlling me with her vagina’…. That’s quite a feat.
So now I keep having visions of all these pulsating vaginas reaching out into the ether with their golden energy fields making this “whoooombn, whoooombn, whooombn” sound.
And it’s never not funny. NEVER.
Cos, like, you’ve got three options………. Geddit?
posted by ekstasis at 12:48 PM
5 Comments:
hehehehehehe
people - check out this mans site - freaking hilarious!
hehehe, I'm not sure that's an option on the site. There was with children/without, ages, country's, but unfortunately from what I saw - nothing about telepathic/non-telepathic vaginas.... sorry...
wrong.
I know what I'm saving for.
I think you either have one or you don't unfortunately, so unless there's a little booklet lying around that you've never known what it was for... then I think you may be out of luck.
I think you could get the hang of it though, with a little patience and concentration. The hand movement also helps - which is hard to explain... and the noise, you've gotta make the noise - wooooombn woooooombn wooooombn
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